Growing Up

School has been wrapped up.Even not entirely. Half of me is still listing out the works I've not completed and another half is completely trying to get some rest and breath.

This year has marked a lot of life events.Big or small.

Stepped out of my comfort zones.

Tried out new things.

Making new friends and created boundaries too.

And looking ahead...I can visualize countless decisions I'm trying to avoid but getting towards it because the clock keeps on ticking and the calendar never stop flipping, I know I will have to decide one day.

This or that. Or perhaps none listed as answers or choices. Wallahua'lam.

I hope, Allah will guide my steps and my heart. To decide on what's best.

And may the journey make me more humble as a person and this is one thing I really hope for.

Never to feel like I have something extra that others do not have because everything is from Him. Also, not to feel like I lack something just because others have it because Allah knows what's best for me, which I might be completely clueless about it.

I've been meaning to write but knowing that I can write here smoothly compared to when I try to focus on my assignment stopped me every time.

And growing up too, I've realised that individuals are different and not all are listeners.

And also, not all are able to resolve things alone.Some need human to mediate things for them.Some might get better just to let it out and channel it to anything, as long as the feelings flow out of their mind and heart.

Never get burdened with the thoughts that you've problems. Because everything is temporary.

If you think you are listener, lend your shoulders to those whom might be needing yours.

You can solve yours on your own if you're listeners. :)

My heart is heavy. Yet I don't know the reasons still.

This is a therapy.

Insecurity

Life has been moving fast
Really fast
There were times I couldn't catch up
But somehow I have to hold on tight

Raya was great...but not everything was pleasant when I'm at my age and still single.

I honestly have fun doing what I'm doing...studying and learning new stuff.Not that marriage is not in the list but really, I would love to take it as it will be there when the right time and the right person according to His plan appear.

But,expressing this to many will shove me off to the corner...'masyaAllah' sister...why are you having such thought.

Marriage should be your biggest concern.*facepalm*

I know...I know.But I shouldn't rant my problems to the rest of the world to know...nor do I want them to know.

Sometimes talking to human is very tiring too.I'll have a special post for this one.

Being single in the society has been linked to negative personalities...the reasons why guys rejected you are the reasons for you being single up to the very moment.

Smirk.

Even a few told me off.I rather change myself..open up for guys and be more 'approachable'.In what manner...let just leave it there.

I've seen many.

Married and divorced.
Happy and suffered.
Kids are loved and many are neglected.

The riots of everyone should get married...and the latter is to produce babies without actually realizing their responsibilities as husband and wife...or father and mother have shattered the society.

Just come to my school and stay for half an hour in the class.

Before you burst and curse the kids...stop and think.Their behaviours are the product of training by the adult a.k.a parents and surrounding.

You.Us.Ruined them.

For those planning to get married.
Get your acts right.

May the new beginning sets for better future for the generation.

Hidup ada tanggungjawab.

Married or single.

Human or robot.

Everything is created for a purpose.

Ain't they?

Solace

It has been a while
To make an excuse not to write anything here because of my busy schedule seems like just an invalid excuse I will use for countless times in the future

Approaching this age, often the conversation made among the single ladies would be on 'We have got to get a life'...and this is what people of middle age would start concerning most of the time.

When fame or people recognition became less significant for them.

When they start to be true to themselves.

Living our life for a purpose, and to have this sense of purpose we need to clarify what is meaningful to us.

That.

Living with authenticity, self-mastery, relationships, growth and meaning.

Authenticity is when you can be honest with first, yourself before others.

"By aligning your outer behaviour with your inner truth, life will flow in a direction that is meaningful to you. You will not spend energy on denial, survival, or suppression, but you will gain energy from insight, evolution, and expression...from being authentic...the pieces all seem to fit,everything clicks."

Self-mastery...being responsible and competent.

A pluspoint yet most of the independent ladies out there have been struggling with. For high self-esteem and inner peace we must know at our core that we are 'enough' just the way we are...and all by ourselves.Ones should be able to understand that crisis is unavoidable but what is more important is how do they respond to it, and that makes a major difference between people with self-mastery and those without them.

Most of my single-independent girlfriends are capable of surviving on their own, to the point others condemned us for being too independent and scared the guys out of their wits. Although people with a strong-sense of self mastery appeared to prefer handling things on their own and do things their way. That doesn't mean they want to be alone, but rather they are not afraid to be alone.

Absurd in the rational thinking of mine, I would have preferred an independent woman knowing that they have the ability to manage a family not everyone is capable for.

Oh well, that still cannot explain the complexity of man's simple minded kononnya.

...............................................................................................................................................................

Anyways, saying these two out of five aspects because I think I need to first, work on living authentically. I should stop looking at all possible consequences of my actions because taking into consideration everyone's reaction is not something that I could handle and it worn me out.

I have come to realize that by living authentically, I should have a clear sense of purpose for my actions and being responsible for the action made by willing to accept all consequences afterwards. There is no way I could get positive feedback for everything, hence accepting them would be more realistic and help me grow as a person.

Till next time.

130517

Cah...

Dah kau kenapa muka macam tak makan seminggu?

Kurang asam budak kecik ni.Gaya tak sayang gigi.

Lah..betul la.spill.kenapa?

Letih.

Malam ni ade usrah ke?

Yerpppp.same place.same time.konvoi macam selalu.akak tunggu.

....

Aku rasa tak sempat.esok nak kena observe.lesson plan entah ke mana.teaching aids lagi.file gedabak tu aku tak belek lagi.

Dahtu?

err..aku skip usrah...kali ni jer.

******************************************************

I think this thought crossed my mind several times throughout the hectic year.

Instead...we whined together.

The three months of torture.Tanggungjawab dakwah entah ke mana.cukup hidupkan diri dengan usrah yang kadang sampai half asleep. sesat berjam-jam.gaduh sebab putus konvoi.

Intro mengarut.

Sebenarnya.

Aku rindu berlari berkejar tak cukup masa.

Aku rindu kena sound dalam usrah.

Aku rindu gaduh dengan geng kuda time sesat.

Aku rindu bawak kereta gila-gila gara-gara lambat pergi program.

Aku rasa macam tengah futur.

T____T

Decisions

181313

this week..it is all about making decisions.

be it big or small.

Not many which I have met throughout 23 years of living anticipating the idea of "deciding" on something. We always had that small fight even to decide where to eat and what to eat. Always, most of us will just follow the majority says. It is not a bad thing thou because in certain occasion, this life event develop a tolerate person. It never been easy to attend the need of different tummy.^_~V. However, it had always bothered me as I think the habit of "following" to a certain extent will influence us in making bigger decisions in life. And as I deeply reflect, I knew that it had influenced my decision making skills.

when I have to decide over things but weakly stay firm over the decision.



constantly deciding on things make you think deep...and reflective over every single decision.


Ain't it? Sometimes, or is it most of the time the thought of " What will people say?" hit me first before " Will it be for Allah sake?" came. Deep sigh. It is really easy for one to play tricks on our weak heart. We decided on doing something good but we decided on not doing it because we think of what people will say. OR. doing things because we want that little bit of sugarly-praises which flutter our heart.

****************

and to be contented over the decisions I have made.

always the hardest part.


and to be torn apart over wrong turn that i took.

sumpah.

kadang rasa otak selirat terbelit-belit.

kadang rasa...ak malas nak pikir.

tapi Allah nak ajar aku satu.

Niat.
mungkin niat aku salah.terpesong mana-mana.lupa nak betulkan along the way.

Usahalah.
selagi boleh usaha.

Hati.
banyak yg kena jaga.when decisions have to be made.there are things that should be taken into consideration.

and at times...after I have decided.and plan.He changed the plot.

tarbiyah.

reminder.

indeed He is the best planner.

La Tahzan.Innallahama'ana

Enough?

I hardly wrote any thoughts down after I stepped into "real battle" of working life. Not that I had nothing to say, but I had too much thoughts they were spinning like a typhoon inside my head. I dont know exactly where to start and where to give it a stop.

So, lets just start with this one

Qana'ah

Or in the language understood by all I think, is to feel content with what we have on our plates and being grateful for all the things we had. Yet, not turning us to be a stingy brat. This is not some kind of dictionary provided meaning, but pretty much what I understand from that word.

Life is getting harder don't you reckon? When we small, we yearn for sweets. But, getting older we longed for something even more materialistic; car, houses, branded items etc.

But again, the difference is, being an adult, we have to work our ass off to get what we want.Mom and dad ain't giving us 20 cents to buy the things we want now. Because, we are all grown ups. :)

Trying to get to my point here, yearning for all those is not really a crime. Before any negative conclusions hit you, let me say that neat and clear. The crime is, when we never feel enough. We keep getting greedy for more, one after another. And to be to occupied with the things we 'feel' we do not have, blinded us over those whom are even needy than us.

I feel sick, because I think I am among those whom yearn over things too. As if, they are permanent. Turn around, I saw a lot more people who are in need, but we are too busy. I am too busy. So, we all just walked passed them, turning blind eyes for those in need.

I think, we all have enough. If we stop for a second and be grateful. For every little things we had.*deep sigh*

And I should really "applause" our media.

They are really on top of the scoreboard when it comes to advertisement. I don't think we had that much in Brisbane.*cringe*. Even media literacy won't be handy to deal with all the persuasive ads. 

So, please media. Cut it down a bit, because our society is struggling to make a living. And watching all those ads make them think as if they own nothing in the world.

Getting sick, and may be sicker.

Ramadhan, may it be the best healer.

Qudwah Hasanah...lah sangat!

Entry ni untuk sentap. Menyentapkan diri sendiri.

Have heard of this alien "Qudwah Hasanah"

Dalam bahasa yang paling mudah: contoh tauladan yang baik.

And kalau terpijak kaki dalam ladang dakwah dan tarbiyyah, we strive to be one. Especially when familly matters. Bukan semua keluarga boleh hadap anak-anak nak membetulkan whats wrong and whats right in everyday actions. Tambah lagi dengan 'budaya' Melayu.

Orang tua makan garam dulu. Thats what they said.

And, the best way is through actions. It speaks louder and works better at times.

Matlamat saya sepanjang cuti, nak berbakti kat parents, jadi anak soleh solehah, buat kerja rumah and the list goes on.

Common answers. And none of them wrong.

And its never easy.

Kalau nak kira buat. Semua orang mungkin boleh buat. Either dalam paksa atau rela.

What I learnt is, qudwah hasanah from the smallest actions which meant big.

It starts from ATTITUDE

Adik, dah masuk waktu, solat. Adik buat muka batu. Takpe, adikkk..solat zohor.

Setengah jam later,

Adik da solat blom? Mata glued to tv, blooommmm.

And thats when The Hulk came.

Angah kata solatttt! Pegi solattt. I count to three and I want you on your prayer mat!

And this is. EVERYDAY.

And I was at fault. Yelling. Attitude fail and I expect him to remember to pray awal waktu.NO. He wont with yelling.

At times. I really think. My attitude as dai'e is messed up.

And reflecting this every night before I sleep. I thought, Shaytan won again today. Made me lose my temper and blow off my mind.

Anger.

Anyone can take over you when you dont know how to control your temper.

And the attitude you show totally reflects your inner self.

Therefore.

Istighfar

And may Allah gives strength to start the day anew. And showers others with the beauty of Islam and Iman.

Reflected by Muslim. By heart.

Randomthoughtseveniwascluelesswhatiranthere.

Jaded
171213

Perception

sigh...

tangan menggaru kepala yang tak berapa nak gatal.buntu.facing 34 kids in a classroom ain't easy.they are not 'us' years ago whom respect and fear teachers.everyday conversation macam ayam and itik.English is alien for most of them.and the class was chaotic.everytime.

but again

mungkin aku lupa.realitinya Allah datangkan mereka sebagai ujian.Allah tidak akan menguji hambaNya di luar kemampuan.

English might be alien...try not to make it alien to them.

They only fear teacher whom can throw them out of window.not the one that treated them with care and love.

They have no respect towards teacher.because they never understand the value of respecting others.

They can't follow rules. Because they were forced to follow rules.

Kadang.

You have to see a cuboid.not a plain square shape with four sides.

Then.

Start understanding.

Subtle lesson

Today
I was tested...

But
Allah has His own way
Of reminding me

When I sit and reflect
When people think of your bad more than your good
That means you have not done much good
And

"Always make peace..even it means to swallow your pride"

R...ational?

It was past one year when I felt the need of throwing the never ending list of songs i had...really.earpiece was left out whenever I went out.which is abnormal.

Indeed.from headbanging song to mellow nasyid songs aint easy.

And proven, none of them stuck in my head except a few piece from zain bikha and the clan.

It hit me thou.

Between both facts.getting rid of everything and start clean.or slowly get rid of the bad habit and replacing with something new.

The analogy was like a full glass of water and when you take out a bit of them, u have the emptiness that should be filled with.

The drastic of getting rid of the list wasnt a big help.Youtube is there.

And I keep on listening as my rationalisation was I did not commit anything wrong by listening.by being moderate and knowing the limit and keeping everything balance.

But ultimately, I know. I should cut the tie.

Just.not.yet

Its hard. To handle people's perception on you.

Thou you know their judgement won't effect the Judgement by Him.

People walk their path differently.

As some might have to make a simple U-turn to get back on the right path.

Some might get stuck in traffic.

Or even get lost in the middle and have to take miles to find way back.

But ultimately, they keep on moving and hopefully end up on the right same spot as others.

We have different struggles. Each and everyone of us.

As long as we realize our final pitstop.

I know we would crawl if we have to

To reach the final destination.

Never fret then, Allah is watching.

People's talking.

Yahh..it hurt.

But let not them glue us to the ground.

Fly if you could.

Walk if you can't.

Crawl if its too much.

And stand up right when you recharge.

Tapi kadang..even you have to beat the rationalisation and rationalize is it really rational.got it.jangan nak memanjang watlek watpeace.skali Allah tarik nyawa.mampu nak tengok timbang tara pahala dosa kat 'sana'?

Spirit.

Teguran

Weyh...kuang asam.bak balik air aku.

Kedekut tahap gaban la ko ni Bilal.aku minum sikit jer.minum air manis banyak-banyak kena diabetis.tak sahut seruan kerajaan betul.buat letih deorang naikkan harga gula.

Yerla Uwais.membebel ko pandai.rokok kat tangan kau ape citer?GST nak naik.harga barang makin mahal.sanggup jugak hari-hari kau sedut asap.aku taleh brain la.

Gelagat mereka aku pandang.both have valid argument.tapi biasalah...when someone touches on your weak point.you defend yourself by bringing down the other party.

Lagaknya kerajaan lawan pembangkang.
Tak pernah menang mencari salah.

Basisnya.
Kita pantang di tegur.
Baik tua baik muda.

Orang yang menegur kadang menegur mengejek.
Kalau yang menegur ikhlas.di katakan poyo.
Akhirnya..sama-sama hanyut.

Bosan menegur
Bosan di tegur

Statik lah kita.
Tunggu sampai Allah tegur?

Jaded.
Random evening.
It smells raindrop.

Ini Cerita Acan

Mata bundarnya aku tenung...dalam
What have you went through boy?
Aku melepaskan keluh berat
Jumpa mereka buat aku ingat realiti hidup.
Tapi hati meronta tiap kali
Terasa lemah bila tangan tak mampu menggapai lebih
Sekadarnya..berborak.bertanya khabar.

It was the best one hour.

Acan
He carves the sweetest smile when I saw him
Left there because pengabaian...same case with others.
Hebatnya Acan.the basis of prayers.5 times in a day.
He made a promise.to keep it full.
Hantu matematik.pantang kira2...
Otak ligat.mata bulat.tangan lincah.
I don't see any sign of "stupidity" in him
No.he is bright.

Acan

Kenapa mak ayah aku tak datang tengok kat sini eyh?

Nanti ak nak tulis surat banyak-banyak kat mak ayah.

Akak,saya tak sabar nak tunggu 2015.
saya bebas.

Akak...jangan lupa kami.nanti cari kami yer.

These words.

it broke my heart.yes.
It opened my eyes.yes.
It taught me life through them.yes.

I fall back to ground zero.helpless.

How will they walk this life.
When it was never easy for those who were lucky.

Prayers.that is the only thing that will fly and sink deep to them.
With Allah wills.for sure.

Ini cerita acan.

Jaded

If we ever know

There was a talk, that I really wanted to go.
but as a student living in money-eater-city of kuala lumpur
i can't afford the ticket
so what I did was I emailed 'em...asking for discounts and any free admission or half price admission or free volunteers do I can get through to the talk...you know.very cunning.heh.

but there was none available.and they were sorry too.

and I told my naqibah about this.she was cool.and she said she will think of a way.

and a week later we were told that we have a free tafseer class from this 'ustaz'
the fee is ' a steadfast heart'
not that cheap...that was our response.
 and yeap..with that call.we went.leaving behind a whole bunch of practicum works undone.
we went.and late as always.

the first greeting from the mak cik was, 'hah lambat, ustaz dah lama tunggu'
and we were 45 minutes late.dayumm
we thought that the class will start even without us.there should be other people aite.
we walked in.and thats it. we were the only audience.

the tafseer class was meant for us.
the ustaz came solely for us.
the makcik who was a doctor (you how busy they are) spared her house for us
they all...with all their might.did this to provide us with tafseer class.

may Allah bless them
may Allah help us to learn about the Deen.
make du'a for our heart to stay steadfast regardless of anything.

jaded's

Abnormality

It was only two and a half hour sleep last night.body was super-tired when i hit home.but as always...eyes refused to shut down.school.was again.a new day.a new tarbiyyah that Allah sent to test for my patience.having prepared everything for one whole day right after i hit home from school, just to make today's lesson fun for them.turned out to be disaster.kids were fighting over easy pitsy things.sulked over questions that their group
 member was not able to answer.

Again...you can plan.but He always be the best planner after all.i shed tears.hah.too sad to leave these kiddos unsettled.

A peek of these little minions


May Allah ease the path.may Allah help them with their life trials.o'Allah.don't let them go astray. 

Dengan siapa kita kecewa sebenarnya?

"mendidik itu bukan menjadi mua'lim semata-mata, bukan mudarris semata-mata, bukan ustaz or ustazah..tapi murabbi ,,insan yg membentuk dari segala sudut peribadi ,..lakukan dengan sifat Rahman dan Rahim RABBIla'lamin.."

"berapa hari dh tazkirah? berapa banyak dh nasihat? nabi nuh berapa tahun berdakwah? berapa yg ikut? nabi musa yg berdakwah berpa tahun? berapa ramai yg ikut?....tugas kita usaha,,yg merubah hati manusia hanya ALLAH..maka berpa kali doa yg keluar dari HATI untuk anak didik..mungkin kesusahan ini hadiah dari ALLAH untuk orng yg die sayang..."

 It was again a 'disappointing' experience with the kiddos. It was hard not to feel bad when your lesson went haywire. and yes, teachers did walk with preparation and intention to teach the kids.

but again, Allah had sent me a beautiful reminder. when I sigh and I complaint about the students, I hardly reflect what have I done to really teach the students to be better caliph for ummah.

never stop trying.
kalau seorang pendidik berhenti mendidik..what will be to the nation.

mungkin kena cuba gaya murabbi.hah.

jaded's
240913

Random Mind #2

It was the normal routine again and again. But it was different air I breath each day. Different life lesson taught by the students every single day.

It was late at night when I saw a post from a highschool friend. Being in one of the biggest company in the country make me feel a bit jealous.its shaytaan or perhaps just my heart did not get the right tune at that time.*sigh*. A lot of them had accomplished so much in life when I am still crawling to complete my degree. The almost five and a half years spent for study yet nothing in between that I had actually done for others make me feel low. How much time have I wasted when I don't even have the luxury of time.

But again, looking at the bright side. That is not what I am looking for in life. And I am sure enough that He planned everything with the permanent marker pen way before I was here in Loh Mahfuz. And I am here writing with pencils and giving the eraser to Him to erase my unreasonable life plans.

It is not the matter of how high you are in the eye of the society, but it matters who you are in the eye of The Creator.

let's head up for the students tomorrow. wishing them to gain the knowledge delivered. Their life stories are not as fairytales as what we have been through. You know life hits them hard when they are young and you should be there to help them stand.

jaded's
night rambles.
2305  180913

Random Mind #1

Random mind # Take 1

It was over almost a year when we last met each other. Allah wills us to meet once again last week.maybe to inspire.or maybe to tell us how much have we disregard things and nikmat that He gave us since. 

I breakdown when my kids throw tantrums. 
I was mad when they could not sit and listen.
I feel helpless when both my hands hurt badly because of small cuts.

And after I saw her I think I shall look into the mirror and say..duhhh akma.look at urself.

diagnosed with glaucoma. fighting for her right eye for 24 years and was told that she could lost everything in between two hours due to retina detachment. and yet after everything, she told us that in all musibah there are sweetness that Allah gave her.

and she was grateful.for the only eye that she had. for all the trials from Him.

I would like to see the smile last. and I know she will laugh and smile as she is now.

may Allah grant her a clearer sight.she had so much to explore.and she is one of the light in the ummah. she had so much to do. a lot of people loving her to every bits.

tribute to Kak Syarnisa.
you might not know how much you inspire people.
but you did.
stay strong.
stay safe.
:')

jaded's. 160913 1334

Kids have lost their innocence

The first post after keeping myself away with any long writing stuff. Having less time or the truth I have too much to say yet words are not enough to express them all.

The third week has ended for practicum phase one. It was a breathtaking experience. Walking into school feels like walking through a hallway where everything is presented right in front of your eyes. The FUTURE of ummah I would say.

budak-budak yang 80% of them have family problem
budak-budak yang tak kenal erti hormat pendidik
budak-budak yang tukar a mini story book into a porn book
budak-budak yang buat smirk faces when they see teachers

tapi, the truth is.are these really masalah budak. I don't think so. They grew up by looking, listening and copying what the adults did.didn't they.they reflect us.

The truth is, teaching profession now and then is really different. If then, it is a noble profession but not now. People have a mindset that being a teacher is an easy tipsy stuff. masuk mengajar for one hour then thats it. As if they know the reality.

To teach them to be clever, there is no need to send your kids to school.really.but to teach them to be human.that is what we are for.teachers. we are not teaching them, English alone for example. we teach them life.manners.respect.as much as we could.

Tapi...it won't work with the society's mindset.kalau rasa mendidik itu mudah.then didik your kids from home. so then we can take care of the rest.

Having kids without properly teach them is just another sin that people unconsciously doing without even realizing it.

random.random.random.thoughts of being in school for quite some time.

cracking head to teach them English.

hope they will learn.not just the language.hope it went far beyond.

jaded
200713

Manusia, sekadar itukah hidup.

Arghhhhh!Tension menghadap assignment yang tak putus-putus.tangan laju menekan butang browser...layan youtube seround.Michael Jackson, 'man in the mirror' berdegung dari headphone Marley kat kepala.terpenjara dalam kalut esaimen.bosannya manusia.sekadar itukah hidup?

If you wanna make a change, start with the one in the mirror.bittertruth.

I would say this is the routine for most people out there, students terutamanya.hidup didalam circle esaimen, movie, makan, tido menghadap lecturer.yang hidup hanya sekadarnya.lets say five and a half year masa belajar, selama itu jugaklah masa di bazirkan dengan perkara-perkara yang tidak berfaedah.pemuda bagai hilang jiwa...zombified dengan esaimen dan kekangan kerja.akhirnya kaku manjadi robot yang mengikut susunan manusia.

Masa yang paling berharga adalah zaman muda.sirah dan sejarah agung islam dimulakan dengan berlatar belakangkan pemuda..nabi pernah bersabda yag bermaksud "telah menyokong/membantu ak para pemuda, sedangkan golongan tua membelakangi ak"..

dirumah al-arqam bin abi alarqam ..nabi berumur 40 tahun..saidina umar berumur 27 tahun..saidina uthman lebih muda dari umar..saidina ali lebih muda dari saidina uthman...musaib bin umairjuga dikisahkan memeluk islam sewaktu usia pemuda..dihantar oleh nabi ke madinah sblom hijrah..tiada rumah yang tidak diketuk mus'ab untuk menyampaikan islam..sultan muhammad al fateh sewaktu dilantik menjadi sultan berumur 19 tahun dalam tempoh 2 tahun berjaya membuka kota konstatinopal.. 

Inilah contoh manusia yang bukan hidup hanya sekadarnya

I was once asked, kalau constantinopole tu berjaya di tawan oleh al fateeh pada umur 24 tahun, what have I done for 23 years living?

Tersentak.di situ bermulanya langkah didalam medan dakwah dan tarbiyah.merangkak mencari diri.mencari himmah yang hilang dalam jiwa muda sendiri.mula di terjah dengan ISK, melarikan diri dari daurah syahadatul Haq dek kerana ustaz google bg definisi syahadatul haq yang bagiku scary.pemahaman cetek kalau aku tak dengar aku tak payah sampaikan buatkan aku berusaha melarikan diri.tapi, di heret akak-akak perkasa. Usai daurah balik ke rumah ibarat memikul beban batu seberat-beratnya di atas bahu.

Nah...manusia kalau di khabarkan tujuan hidupnya takkan mereka hidup sekadarnya.

"Aku tidak menciptakan jin dan manusia melainkan untuk mereka beribadah kepadaku" 51:56

"Ingatlah ketika tuhanmu berfirman kepada para malaikat: "sesunggunya Aku hendak menjadikan seorang Khalifah di muka bumi." 2:30

Andai manusia itu berfikir, oksigen ade fungsinya, binatang dan tumbuhan menyediakan manusia keperluan tenaga, serving human being to make them able to survive.but again, what are human being survive for?adakah sekadarnya untuk hidup, makan, belajar kerja kumpul harta dan mati di hujung nanti.

Often blinded by other purpose of life buatkan manusia buta akan ultimate purpose of life.untuk menjadi abid dan khalifah di muka bumi Allah.lalu mereka hidup hanya sekadarnya.hanya untuk survive hari esoknya.belajar hanya sekadarnya untuk lulus masuk universiti.semuanya sekadarnya.

Contradict.when we have less than a century to prepare for life of eternity our very actions shudnt be 'sekadarnya'. Jadilah  orang yang bukan hidupnya hanya sekadarnya.having said that aiming for jannah, neither of our actions should be done leisurely.siapa lagi yang boleh mengubah kita melainkan diri sendiri.

"Sesunggunnya Allah tidak akan mengubah keadaan sesuatu kaum melainkan mereka mengubah keadaan yang ada pada diri mereka sendiri" 13:11

Sekian

Fitnah dai'e

Mata mendongak memandang langit

Langit bumi Malaysia tak jauh bezanya dengan langit di bumi brisbane

Mungkin.langitnya sama.bi'ahnya ,menyesak jiwa.aku rindu suasana Brisbane.mana langkah manusia, penuh dengan akhlak.bak kata syeikh muhamad abduh.aku melihat islam di bumi bukan muslim.tapi sebaliknya di bumi muslim.bittertruth.kaki menjejak kembali bumi Malaysia,kelilingnya aku melihat manusia yg ratanya beragama Islam.

Proses mencari tuhan itu gayanya makin sukar bila bertatih di bumi yang dikatakan 'islam' itu sendiri,dek kerana banyaknya kelabu.mungkin samar jadinya.melangkah kaki tersangkut.tangan meraba bak jengkaut.mengikis kesekian sisa iman yang berbaki.bila yang berjubah labuh di kecam pensyarah, dikatakan kolot tak mampu bersuara gagah lantang.bila cubaaan-cubaan menjaga ikhtilat dikatakan tidak menjaga persaudaraan lelaki perempuan.bila kepala pening memikirkan diri yangtak putus menjadi fitnah agama.di mana silapnya.buntu.

Tapi kembali merangkak mencari yang abadi.adakah kamu menyangka kamu beriman sedangkan kamu tidak di uji.ahh manusia.bicara gaya seorang dai'e.tapi hati rapuh melawan gelojak hati.diuji sedikit melatah bukan persis dai'e.

So...heads up.reflect diri sbg seorang dai'e.mungkin lemah diri.akhlaq tak cukup ikut nabi.

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Jaded