Monday, May 20, 2013

Manusia, sekadar itukah hidup.




Manusia...sekadar itukah hidup?

Arghhhhh!Tension menghadap assignment yang tak putus-putus.tangan laju menekan butang browser...layan youtube seround.Michael Jackson, 'man in the mirror' berdegung dari headphone Marley kat kepala.terpenjara dalam kalut esaimen.bosannya manusia.sekadar itukah hidup?

If you wanna make a change, start with the one in the mirror.bittertruth.

I would say this is the routine for most people out there, students terutamanya.hidup didalam circle esaimen, movie, makan, tido menghadap lecturer.yang hidup hanya sekadarnya.lets say five and a half year masa belajar, selama itu jugaklah masa di bazirkan dengan perkara-perkara yang tidak berfaedah.pemuda bagai hilang jiwa...zombified dengan esaimen dan kekangan kerja.akhirnya kaku manjadi robot yang mengikut susunan manusia.

Masa yang paling berharga adalah zaman muda.sirah dan sejarah agung islam dimulakan dengan berlatar belakangkan pemuda..nabi pernah bersabda yag bermaksud "telah menyokong/membantu ak para pemuda, sedangkan golongan tua membelakangi ak"..

dirumah al-arqam bin abi alarqam ..nabi berumur 40 tahun..saidina umar berumur 27 tahun..saidina uthman lebih muda dari umar..saidina ali lebih muda dari saidina uthman...musaib bin umairjuga dikisahkan memeluk islam sewaktu usia pemuda..dihantar oleh nabi ke madinah sblom hijrah..tiada rumah yang tidak diketuk mus'ab untuk menyampaikan islam..sultan muhammad al fateh sewaktu dilantik menjadi sultan berumur 19 tahun dalam tempoh 2 tahun berjaya membuka kota konstatinopal.. 

Inilah contoh manusia yang bukan hidup hanya sekadarnya

I was once asked, kalau constantinopole tu berjaya di tawan oleh al fateeh pada umur 24 tahun, what have I done for 23 years living?

Tersentak.di situ bermulanya langkah didalam medan dakwah dan tarbiyah.merangkak mencari diri.mencari himmah yang hilang dalam jiwa muda sendiri.mula di terjah dengan ISK, melarikan diri dari daurah syahadatul Haq dek kerana ustaz google bg definisi syahadatul haq yang bagiku scary.pemahaman cetek kalau aku tak dengar aku tak payah sampaikan buatkan aku berusaha melarikan diri.tapi, di heret akak-akak perkasa. Usai daurah balik ke rumah ibarat memikul beban batu seberat-beratnya di atas bahu.

Nah...manusia kalau di khabarkan tujuan hidupnya takkan mereka hidup sekadarnya.

"Aku tidak menciptakan jin dan manusia melainkan untuk mereka beribadah kepadaku" 51:56

"Ingatlah ketika tuhanmu berfirman kepada para malaikat: "sesunggunya Aku hendak menjadikan seorang Khalifah di muka bumi." 2:30


Andai manusia itu berfikir, oksigen ade fungsinya, binatang dan tumbuhan menyediakan manusia keperluan tenaga, serving human being to make them able to survive.but again, what are human being survive for?adakah sekadarnya untuk hidup, makan, belajar kerja kumpul harta dan mati di hujung nanti.

Often blinded by other purpose of life buatkan manusia buta akan ultimate purpose of life.untuk menjadi abid dan khalifah di muka bumi Allah.lalu mereka hidup hanya sekadarnya.hanya untuk survive hari esoknya.belajar hanya sekadarnya untuk lulus masuk universiti.semuanya sekadarnya.

Contradict.when we have less than a century to prepare for life of eternity our very actions shudnt be 'sekadarnya'. Jadilah  orang yang bukan hidupnya hanya sekadarnya.having said that aiming for jannah, neither of our actions should be done leisurely.siapa lagi yang boleh mengubah kita melainkan diri sendiri.

"Sesunggunnya Allah tidak akan mengubah keadaan sesuatu kaum melainkan mereka mengubah keadaan yang ada pada diri mereka sendiri" 13:11

Sekian









Saturday, May 18, 2013

Fitnah dai'e

Mata mendongak memandang langit

Langit bumi Malaysia tak jauh bezanya dengan langit di bumi brisbane

Mungkin.langitnya sama.bi'ahnya ,menyesak jiwa.aku rindu suasana Brisbane.mana langkah manusia, penuh dengan akhlak.bak kata syeikh muhamad abduh.aku melihat islam di bumi bukan muslim.tapi sebaliknya di bumi muslim.bittertruth.kaki menjejak kembali bumi Malaysia,kelilingnya aku melihat manusia yg ratanya beragama Islam.

Proses mencari tuhan itu gayanya makin sukar bila bertatih di bumi yang dikatakan 'islam' itu sendiri,dek kerana banyaknya kelabu.mungkin samar jadinya.melangkah kaki tersangkut.tangan meraba bak jengkaut.mengikis kesekian sisa iman yang berbaki.bila yang berjubah labuh di kecam pensyarah, dikatakan kolot tak mampu bersuara gagah lantang.bila cubaaan-cubaan menjaga ikhtilat dikatakan tidak menjaga persaudaraan lelaki perempuan.bila kepala pening memikirkan diri yangtak putus menjadi fitnah agama.di mana silapnya.buntu.

Tapi kembali merangkak mencari yang abadi.adakah kamu menyangka kamu beriman sedangkan kamu tidak di uji.ahh manusia.bicara gaya seorang dai'e.tapi hati rapuh melawan gelojak hati.diuji sedikit melatah bukan persis dai'e.

So...heads up.reflect diri sbg seorang dai'e.mungkin lemah diri.akhlaq tak cukup ikut nabi.

Random write up

180513

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Jaded

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Clinging?

Tangan sibuk membelek Mocha fusion dalam tangan.hailaa..why on earth did that guy gave me cream.mulut laju menyedut mocha.aaahhh..lega gila.cleaning for five hours makes me crave for coffee.

Tiba-tiba mata aku menangkap kelibat seorang budak.cute gila.'clinging' to her mom.closely.he was asking for her mom to get her the toys that she wanted. Adat mat salleh, tak pernah menengking bila anak mintak barang. after her mom try to compromise with her daughter but she keep insisting. tapi si anak mula buat perangai. she starts to cry, making a ruckus in the store.but the mom, patiently treating the daughter, she still not buying the toys but she took her on the other side of the store and buy her something else.si anak still crying, hitting her mom and try as much as possible to trouble her mom.mata aku tak lepas mmerhati.otak laju berfikir.

cling

a text message received

oh snap!am late for work.

the incident makes me think

bukan ideologinya sama macam manusia dengan sang pencipta?

we always have our own specific prayer, we want this.we want that.but we get otherwise. up to a certain point, we feel that our prayers are not being answered.we start to make trouble.being rebellious?heh...

always we forget

we plan at our best.but Allah is the best of planner.
when our wish are not granted, we focused a lot on the ungranted wish.
when we failed our exam.we focus on our failures.but we forget all the years that we have passed.
just being human being aint we?

but we forget
Have He ever leave us?
How much nikmat yang Allah dah bagi?
seperti anak yg cling much to her mom
thats how we should be clinging to our Creator.
fully dependent on Him
beliefs that all that we get is the best from His plan

ini random...idea drained.because all the ideas come from Him.^^

Saturday, March 30, 2013

Assalamualaikum...thou no one is reading.

better this way

a long journey today...almost ten hours driving will make you wonder how much Allah have kept you secured..breathing.still.regardless the crazy traffic and sometimes-wreckless-rempit-driving style.If and only if...something bad happened.Will the deeds that I have done all these years secure me a better place in the hereafter?well...death awaits us not just in a dangerous place but it can be on your bed...tonight?na'udzubillahminzalik.

yet...constant reflection is what we always need.

a sinner...may Allah forgives.because He is The Most Forgiven.:')

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Fighter-to-be

Assalamualaikum

the shabby dusty blog...revisiting after quite a while 

Just came back from volunteering work at Tengku Budriah..so much fun with the kiddos.but my heartache when I was with them too.

Having fun because the kids are really talkative

They are really pampered, in their own ways

Their will to learn,regardless how much they are lagging behind

Their warm smile...

Laughter

Fights

I fall in love with them all.period

But I cant help to feel greedy.wanting them to be able to get so much in that little time.regardless how hard they are struggling. I want them...to lead a new life.to stand tall wherever they are.never let others look down on them.compete just like others compete.

Go kiddos.be a fighter!

I wish to have more time for them.moga Allah bagi kelapangan masa.

and a promise I should keep.

for years to come, I will teach them to become human. I will teach my students to be human rather than robot. I want to love them the way I love the kids now.and I shall not let the system washed this away.

and heart.shall keep this tight.make me steadfast Ya Allah.

jaded

its a rambling...but its the heart content.

130313

0025.

Monday, February 4, 2013

Life as it seems...life as we live it

Life as it seems...life as we live it

It aint easy...coming back and forth.feel up in the sky.hati rasa mantap.iman rasa kuat.and at times...you are barely breathing.you know it.but helpless with not much effort to bring it up.jaded.dengan diri sndiri of not being able to be persistence.of always throwing tantrums randomly at realllyyyy unexpected things and not being mad at things that should be mad at.out of control.and I hate myself most when this happened.

Just because...getting midnight(just say it night) air is very much refreshing for me.using the excuse of going out to the city looking for stuff to cook sambal bilis for my bro.I ended up seeing stuff that I can't brain why people able to do such things. Wearing nice clothe*baju kurung yet leasuring around at places that they shouldnt be and do a bit of dancing with the song.hailaaa

Not right for me to say a word.being there.done that.same boat but might be different cabin and direction.i supposed.no boys and as cold as I can be when lone ranger mode is one. Had a conversation with a junior...a sis.when she opened up.ranting about her doing all not-so-good stuff, I know its not easy to spill.its the jerangkung in the closet we are letting out.but hey adik...being there.done that.might be worst.but Allah has His plan...and alhamdulillah.as crazy as I can be,there are things that I really had put my limit at it. To stay away from who you are.what you like to do.your escapism.aint easy.at all cost.but knowing the reason,a concrete one.why you shudnt do this and that.it keeps you steadfast.at times.haha..

But to be reminded..and keep reminding

I have no right to say...as little as I did.as no help I had gave to them.no advice.yet talking bad about them.no more than doing some savings for my sin?not good.I was there.and same old with a bit of amendments here and there.long way to go.and to spill.i don't know how,where or who.except for writing and erasing.feel like it will be washed away for a while.but keep coming back is not an option.

To the dear heart...i know.i havent bleach you enough.but do me a favour.lets work this together.as I supposed that my brain and heart always work opposite way and the crazy random stuff is heart directed.i will always choose heart.as brain is for some other stuff.when craziness is under control.spill.rant.write.randomly.makes the heart feel lotttt more better.and when I rant...i know that I am tired talking to my ownself trying to control things.aint easy.worth trying.

Period.:)

Ouhhh..mak cik2 balik hobi pulak salam(*accepted.normal) but when it comes to hugging and violating the rights of my cheeks.I had goosebumps.and the question.when will be my turn is a wajib phrase.mak cik...my wonderwall is yet to be seen.and my allergy with boys of extra feelings is still there.back off is for them.longgggg way to go.=D

Monday, October 22, 2012

Heartache

0506

Trying to stay awake after subuh and flipping through facebook...and my eyes stop at one of the pictures.

A deep sigh...sad...mad?

I don't know.

Perhaps

Weak...for not being able to stop things and correct 'em.

Weak...for your words not to be taken into actions.

Weak...for not being able to pull you,we us together to Jannah

Mata masuk habuk.
From afar...I can just pray for you.looking at myself with so much imperfections, probably that hinders the good words from reaching you.

Jaded's
Taringa,Brisbane...23102012