squeee the lemon...make it as lemon juice.suck it all.Allah is forever wit you.

Saturday, May 13, 2017

Solace

It has been a while
To make an excuse not to write anything here because of my busy schedule seems like just an invalid excuse I will use for countless times in the future

Approaching this age, often the conversation made among the single ladies would be on 'We have got to get a life'...and this is what people of middle age would start concerning most of the time.

When fame or people recognition became less significant for them.

When they start to be true to themselves.

Living our life for a purpose, and to have this sense of purpose we need to clarify what is meaningful to us.

That.

Living with authenticity, self-mastery, relationships, growth and meaning.

Authenticity is when you can be honest with first, yourself before others.

"By aligning your outer behaviour with your inner truth, life will flow in a direction that is meaningful to you. You will not spend energy on denial, survival, or suppression, but you will gain energy from insight, evolution, and expression...from being authentic...the pieces all seem to fit,everything clicks."

Self-mastery...being responsible and competent.

A pluspoint yet most of the independent ladies out there have been struggling with. For high self-esteem and inner peace we must know at our core that we are 'enough' just the way we are...and all by ourselves.Ones should be able to understand that crisis is unavoidable but what is more important is how do they respond to it, and that makes a major difference between people with self-mastery and those without them.

Most of my single-independent girlfriends are capable of surviving on their own, to the point others condemned us for being too independent and scared the guys out of their wits. Although people with a strong-sense of self mastery appeared to prefer handling things on their own and do things their way. That doesn't mean they want to be alone, but rather they are not afraid to be alone.

Absurd in the rational thinking of mine, I would have preferred an independent woman knowing that they have the ability to manage a family not everyone is capable for.

Oh well, that still cannot explain the complexity of man's simple minded kononnya.

...............................................................................................................................................................

Anyways, saying these two out of five aspects because I think I need to first, work on living authentically. I should stop looking at all possible consequences of my actions because taking into consideration everyone's reaction is not something that I could handle and it worn me out.

I have come to realize that by living authentically, I should have a clear sense of purpose for my actions and being responsible for the action made by willing to accept all consequences afterwards. There is no way I could get positive feedback for everything, hence accepting them would be more realistic and help me grow as a person.

Till next time.

130517

Sunday, June 7, 2015

Cah...

Dah kau kenapa muka macam tak makan seminggu?

Kurang asam budak kecik ni.Gaya tak sayang gigi.

Lah..betul la.spill.kenapa?

Letih.

Malam ni ade usrah ke?

Yerpppp.same place.same time.konvoi macam selalu.akak tunggu.

....

Aku rasa tak sempat.esok nak kena observe.lesson plan entah ke mana.teaching aids lagi.file gedabak tu aku tak belek lagi.

Dahtu?

err..aku skip usrah...kali ni jer.

******************************************************
I think this thought crossed my mind several times throughout the hectic year.

Instead...we whined together.

The three months of torture.Tanggungjawab dakwah entah ke mana.cukup hidupkan diri dengan usrah yang kadang sampai half asleep. sesat berjam-jam.gaduh sebab putus konvoi.

Intro mengarut.

Sebenarnya.

Aku rindu berlari berkejar tak cukup masa.

Aku rindu kena sound dalam usrah.

Aku rindu gaduh dengan geng kuda time sesat.

Aku rindu bawak kereta gila-gila gara-gara lambat pergi program.

Aku rasa macam tengah futur.

T____T

Decisions

181313

this week..it is all about making decisions.

be it big or small.



Not many which I have met throughout 23 years of living anticipating the idea of "deciding" on something. We always had that small fight even to decide where to eat and what to eat. Always, most of us will just follow the majority says. It is not a bad thing thou because in certain occasion, this life event develop a tolerate person. It never been easy to attend the need of different tummy.^_~V. However, it had always bothered me as I think the habit of "following" to a certain extent will influence us in making bigger decisions in life. And as I deeply reflect, I knew that it had influenced my decision making skills.


when I have to decide over things but weakly stay firm over the decision.



constantly deciding on things make you think deep...and reflective over every single decision.



Ain't it? Sometimes, or is it most of the time the thought of " What will people say?" hit me first before " Will it be for Allah sake?" came. Deep sigh. It is really easy for one to play tricks on our weak heart. We decided on doing something good but we decided on not doing it because we think of what people will say. OR. doing things because we want that little bit of sugarly-praises which flutter our heart.


****************

and to be contented over the decisions I have made.

always the hardest part.


and to be torn apart over wrong turn that i took.

sumpah.

kadang rasa otak selirat terbelit-belit.

kadang rasa...ak malas nak pikir.

tapi Allah nak ajar aku satu.

Niat.
mungkin niat aku salah.terpesong mana-mana.lupa nak betulkan along the way.

Usahalah.
selagi boleh usaha.

Hati.
banyak yg kena jaga.when decisions have to be made.there are things that should be taken into consideration.

and at times...after I have decided.and plan.He changed the plot.

tarbiyah.

reminder.

indeed He is the best planner.

La Tahzan.Innallahama'ana

Enough?

I hardly wrote any thoughts down after I stepped into "real battle" of working life. Not that I had nothing to say, but I had too much thoughts they were spinning like a typhoon inside my head. I dont know exactly where to start and where to give it a stop.

So, lets just start with this one

Qana'ah

Or in the language understood by all I think, is to feel content with what we have on our plates and being grateful for all the things we had. Yet, not turning us to be a stingy brat. This is not some kind of dictionary provided meaning, but pretty much what I understand from that word.

Life is getting harder don't you reckon? When we small, we yearn for sweets. But, getting older we longed for something even more materialistic; car, houses, branded items etc.

But again, the difference is, being an adult, we have to work our ass off to get what we want.Mom and dad ain't giving us 20 cents to buy the things we want now. Because, we are all grown ups. :)


Trying to get to my point here, yearning for all those is not really a crime. Before any negative conclusions hit you, let me say that neat and clear. The crime is, when we never feel enough. We keep getting greedy for more, one after another. And to be to occupied with the things we 'feel' we do not have, blinded us over those whom are even needy than us.

I feel sick, because I think I am among those whom yearn over things too. As if, they are permanent. Turn around, I saw a lot more people who are in need, but we are too busy. I am too busy. So, we all just walked passed them, turning blind eyes for those in need.

I think, we all have enough. If we stop for a second and be grateful. For every little things we had.*deep sigh*

And I should really "applause" our media.

They are really on top of the scoreboard when it comes to advertisement. I don't think we had that much in Brisbane.*cringe*. Even media literacy won't be handy to deal with all the persuasive ads. 

So, please media. Cut it down a bit, because our society is struggling to make a living. And watching all those ads make them think as if they own nothing in the world.

Getting sick, and may be sicker.

Ramadhan, may it be the best healer.


Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Qudwah Hasanah...lah sangat!

Entry ni untuk sentap. Menyentapkan diri sendiri.

Have heard of this alien "Qudwah Hasanah"

Dalam bahasa yang paling mudah: contoh tauladan yang baik.

And kalau terpijak kaki dalam ladang dakwah dan tarbiyyah, we strive to be one. Especially when familly matters. Bukan semua keluarga boleh hadap anak-anak nak membetulkan whats wrong and whats right in everyday actions. Tambah lagi dengan 'budaya' Melayu.

Orang tua makan garam dulu. Thats what they said.

And, the best way is through actions. It speaks louder and works better at times.

Matlamat saya sepanjang cuti, nak berbakti kat parents, jadi anak soleh solehah, buat kerja rumah and the list goes on.

Common answers. And none of them wrong.

And its never easy.

Kalau nak kira buat. Semua orang mungkin boleh buat. Either dalam paksa atau rela.

What I learnt is, qudwah hasanah from the smallest actions which meant big.

It starts from ATTITUDE

Adik, dah masuk waktu, solat. Adik buat muka batu. Takpe, adikkk..solat zohor.

Setengah jam later,

Adik da solat blom? Mata glued to tv, blooommmm.

And thats when The Hulk came.

Angah kata solatttt! Pegi solattt. I count to three and I want you on your prayer mat!

And this is. EVERYDAY.

And I was at fault. Yelling. Attitude fail and I expect him to remember to pray awal waktu.NO. He wont with yelling.

At times. I really think. My attitude as dai'e is messed up.

And reflecting this every night before I sleep. I thought, Shaytan won again today. Made me lose my temper and blow off my mind.

Anger.

Anyone can take over you when you dont know how to control your temper.

And the attitude you show totally reflects your inner self.

Therefore.

Istighfar

And may Allah gives strength to start the day anew. And showers others with the beauty of Islam and Iman.

Reflected by Muslim. By heart.

Randomthoughtseveniwascluelesswhatiranthere.

Jaded
171213