Life as it seems...life as we live it
It aint easy...coming back and forth.feel up in the sky.hati rasa mantap.iman rasa kuat.and at times...you are barely breathing.you know it.but helpless with not much effort to bring it up.jaded.dengan diri sndiri of not being able to be persistence.of always throwing tantrums randomly at realllyyyy unexpected things and not being mad at things that should be mad at.out of control.and I hate myself most when this happened.
Just because...getting midnight(just say it night) air is very much refreshing for me.using the excuse of going out to the city looking for stuff to cook sambal bilis for my bro.I ended up seeing stuff that I can't brain why people able to do such things. Wearing nice clothe*baju kurung yet leasuring around at places that they shouldnt be and do a bit of dancing with the song.hailaaa
Not right for me to say a word.being there.done that.same boat but might be different cabin and direction.i supposed.no boys and as cold as I can be when lone ranger mode is one. Had a conversation with a junior...a sis.when she opened up.ranting about her doing all not-so-good stuff, I know its not easy to spill.its the jerangkung in the closet we are letting out.but hey adik...being there.done that.might be worst.but Allah has His plan...and alhamdulillah.as crazy as I can be,there are things that I really had put my limit at it. To stay away from who you are.what you like to do.your escapism.aint easy.at all cost.but knowing the reason,a concrete one.why you shudnt do this and that.it keeps you steadfast.at times.haha..
But to be reminded..and keep reminding
I have no right to say...as little as I did.as no help I had gave to them.no advice.yet talking bad about them.no more than doing some savings for my sin?not good.I was there.and same old with a bit of amendments here and there.long way to go.and to spill.i don't know how,where or who.except for writing and erasing.feel like it will be washed away for a while.but keep coming back is not an option.
To the dear heart...i know.i havent bleach you enough.but do me a favour.lets work this together.as I supposed that my brain and heart always work opposite way and the crazy random stuff is heart directed.i will always choose heart.as brain is for some other stuff.when craziness is under control.spill.rant.write.randomly.makes the heart feel lotttt more better.and when I rant...i know that I am tired talking to my ownself trying to control things.aint easy.worth trying.
Ouhhh..mak cik2 balik hobi pulak salam(*accepted.normal) but when it comes to hugging and violating the rights of my cheeks.I had goosebumps.and the question.when will be my turn is a wajib phrase.mak cik...my wonderwall is yet to be seen.and my allergy with boys of extra feelings is still there.back off is for them.longgggg way to go.=D