Fitnah dai'e

Mata mendongak memandang langit

Langit bumi Malaysia tak jauh bezanya dengan langit di bumi brisbane

Mungkin.langitnya sama.bi'ahnya ,menyesak jiwa.aku rindu suasana Brisbane.mana langkah manusia, penuh dengan akhlak.bak kata syeikh muhamad abduh.aku melihat islam di bumi bukan muslim.tapi sebaliknya di bumi muslim.bittertruth.kaki menjejak kembali bumi Malaysia,kelilingnya aku melihat manusia yg ratanya beragama Islam.

Proses mencari tuhan itu gayanya makin sukar bila bertatih di bumi yang dikatakan 'islam' itu sendiri,dek kerana banyaknya kelabu.mungkin samar jadinya.melangkah kaki tersangkut.tangan meraba bak jengkaut.mengikis kesekian sisa iman yang berbaki.bila yang berjubah labuh di kecam pensyarah, dikatakan kolot tak mampu bersuara gagah lantang.bila cubaaan-cubaan menjaga ikhtilat dikatakan tidak menjaga persaudaraan lelaki perempuan.bila kepala pening memikirkan diri yangtak putus menjadi fitnah agama.di mana silapnya.buntu.

Tapi kembali merangkak mencari yang abadi.adakah kamu menyangka kamu beriman sedangkan kamu tidak di uji.ahh manusia.bicara gaya seorang dai'e.tapi hati rapuh melawan gelojak hati.diuji sedikit melatah bukan persis dai'e.

So...heads up.reflect diri sbg seorang dai'e.mungkin lemah diri.akhlaq tak cukup ikut nabi.

Random write up

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Jaded

Clinging?

Tangan sibuk membelek Mocha fusion dalam tangan.hailaa..why on earth did that guy gave me cream.mulut laju menyedut mocha.aaahhh..lega gila.cleaning for five hours makes me crave for coffee.

Tiba-tiba mata aku menangkap kelibat seorang budak.cute gila.'clinging' to her mom.closely.he was asking for her mom to get her the toys that she wanted. Adat mat salleh, tak pernah menengking bila anak mintak barang. after her mom try to compromise with her daughter but she keep insisting. tapi si anak mula buat perangai. she starts to cry, making a ruckus in the store.but the mom, patiently treating the daughter, she still not buying the toys but she took her on the other side of the store and buy her something else.si anak still crying, hitting her mom and try as much as possible to trouble her mom.mata aku tak lepas mmerhati.otak laju berfikir.

cling

a text message received

oh snap!am late for work.

the incident makes me think

bukan ideologinya sama macam manusia dengan sang pencipta?

we always have our own specific prayer, we want this.we want that.but we get otherwise. up to a certain point, we feel that our prayers are not being answered.we start to make trouble.being rebellious?heh...

always we forget

we plan at our best.but Allah is the best of planner.

when our wish are not granted, we focused a lot on the ungranted wish.

when we failed our exam.we focus on our failures.but we forget all the years that we have passed.

just being human being aint we?

but we forget

Have He ever leave us?

How much nikmat yang Allah dah bagi?

seperti anak yg cling much to her mom

thats how we should be clinging to our Creator.

fully dependent on Him

beliefs that all that we get is the best from His plan

ini random...idea drained.because all the ideas come from Him.^^

Assalamualaikum...thou no one is reading.

better this way

a long journey today...almost ten hours driving will make you wonder how much Allah have kept you secured..breathing.still.regardless the crazy traffic and sometimes-wreckless-rempit-driving style.If and only if...something bad happened.Will the deeds that I have done all these years secure me a better place in the hereafter?well...death awaits us not just in a dangerous place but it can be on your bed...tonight?na'udzubillahminzalik.

yet...constant reflection is what we always need.

a sinner...may Allah forgives.because He is The Most Forgiven.:')

Fighter-to-be

Assalamualaikum

the shabby dusty blog...revisiting after quite a while 

Just came back from volunteering work at Tengku Budriah..so much fun with the kiddos.but my heartache when I was with them too.

Having fun because the kids are really talkative

They are really pampered, in their own ways

Their will to learn,regardless how much they are lagging behind

Their warm smile...

Laughter

Fights

I fall in love with them all.period

But I cant help to feel greedy.wanting them to be able to get so much in that little time.regardless how hard they are struggling. I want them...to lead a new life.to stand tall wherever they are.never let others look down on them.compete just like others compete.

Go kiddos.be a fighter!

I wish to have more time for them.moga Allah bagi kelapangan masa.

and a promise I should keep.

for years to come, I will teach them to become human. I will teach my students to be human rather than robot. I want to love them the way I love the kids now.and I shall not let the system washed this away.

and heart.shall keep this tight.make me steadfast Ya Allah.

jaded

its a rambling...but its the heart content.

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Life as it seems...life as we live it

Life as it seems...life as we live it

It aint easy...coming back and forth.feel up in the sky.hati rasa mantap.iman rasa kuat.and at times...you are barely breathing.you know it.but helpless with not much effort to bring it up.jaded.dengan diri sndiri of not being able to be persistence.of always throwing tantrums randomly at realllyyyy unexpected things and not being mad at things that should be mad at.out of control.and I hate myself most when this happened.

Just because...getting midnight(just say it night) air is very much refreshing for me.using the excuse of going out to the city looking for stuff to cook sambal bilis for my bro.I ended up seeing stuff that I can't brain why people able to do such things. Wearing nice clothe*baju kurung yet leasuring around at places that they shouldnt be and do a bit of dancing with the song.hailaaa

Not right for me to say a word.being there.done that.same boat but might be different cabin and direction.i supposed.no boys and as cold as I can be when lone ranger mode is one. Had a conversation with a junior...a sis.when she opened up.ranting about her doing all not-so-good stuff, I know its not easy to spill.its the jerangkung in the closet we are letting out.but hey adik...being there.done that.might be worst.but Allah has His plan...and alhamdulillah.as crazy as I can be,there are things that I really had put my limit at it. To stay away from who you are.what you like to do.your escapism.aint easy.at all cost.but knowing the reason,a concrete one.why you shudnt do this and that.it keeps you steadfast.at times.haha..

But to be reminded..and keep reminding

I have no right to say...as little as I did.as no help I had gave to them.no advice.yet talking bad about them.no more than doing some savings for my sin?not good.I was there.and same old with a bit of amendments here and there.long way to go.and to spill.i don't know how,where or who.except for writing and erasing.feel like it will be washed away for a while.but keep coming back is not an option.

To the dear heart...i know.i havent bleach you enough.but do me a favour.lets work this together.as I supposed that my brain and heart always work opposite way and the crazy random stuff is heart directed.i will always choose heart.as brain is for some other stuff.when craziness is under control.spill.rant.write.randomly.makes the heart feel lotttt more better.and when I rant...i know that I am tired talking to my ownself trying to control things.aint easy.worth trying.

Period.:)

Ouhhh..mak cik2 balik hobi pulak salam(*accepted.normal) but when it comes to hugging and violating the rights of my cheeks.I had goosebumps.and the question.when will be my turn is a wajib phrase.mak cik...my wonderwall is yet to be seen.and my allergy with boys of extra feelings is still there.back off is for them.longgggg way to go.=D